ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
