where does the pee come out of this thing
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
