now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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