Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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