Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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