awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
