I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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