so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
