my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Can I color on your dick again?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
