This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
