I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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