Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
