is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
