You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
