hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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