We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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