Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
