Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
