Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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