Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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