you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
