i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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