He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
