We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Sober January is a disaster.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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