even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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