The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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