your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
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And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
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Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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