I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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