Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
