Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
