If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
