addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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