Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize