I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
