either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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