Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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