Sober January is a disaster.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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