Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
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It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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