he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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