I wish I only lived at night.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
