I don't think brook has ever known best
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
