Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
