I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize