Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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