I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation have a gay friend backfired
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize