She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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