Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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