So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
