i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
