Where are you?
In a non slutty way
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
