I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
