Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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