So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
