Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
