Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
