There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my poor anus
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize