Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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